Clam Jam by R.C. Boldt

“Clam Jam
Definition: the female equivalent of a cock block.
Example: You’re chatting with a guy you’re interested in and your friend comes along and lays claim to him.
Maggie
That’s my life except it’s worse. My friend who keeps jamming me is my gay roommate, and if that isn’t a W.T.F. moment, I’m not sure what is.
Fact: He went home with three yes, three of the guys I had been so sure were into me.
Fact: He’s really pissing me off. I mean, hello? I’m trying to get back in the saddle, but I’ll never manage to get a boyfriend before the age of fifty if he keeps this up.
Fact: Secretly, I wonder what it would be like if he weren’t gay. Why do all the hot, sweet, tender-hearted guys have to be gay?
Fact: My gay-dar needs a serious tune-up.
Ry
The day I interviewed for the room to rent, everything changed. I knew I had met the girl, except there was one small problem: she didn’t want anything to do with men. I recognized a top-notch force field when I saw one. She’d been burned badly and didn’t want to deal with a heterosexual guy as a roommate. I could’ve turned around and found another place to live, but I wanted to live there with her.
So I had to go undercover.
Fact: I’m in love with my roommate.
Fact: I’m a likely candidate for carpal tunnel surgery since all the action I’ve had for the past year has been my hand.
Fact: She’s going to hate me if I come clean now.
Fact: I’m not giving up. Which means I’ll just have to continue to run defense until I figure out a way to get Maggie to see the real me.
The me that loves her.
The me that would never do her wrong.
Until then, I’ll keep running off every guy who shows any interest.
Until then, I’ll continue to Clam Jam.”

-Synopsis from Goodreads

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Clam Jam is a standalone written by R.C. Boldt. Take a longer look on Goodreads. 

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First and foremost, I love this book. Just loved it. I honestly knew I was going to with the title. Crude romantic comedies are the best. Specifically when it’s not just the girl that has dirty thoughts and mind. I have yet to read any book like this one, and I have read a lot of books in the years.

Maggie Finegan is your average woman in an average relationship – okay maybe not average since she finds her fiance cheating on her. So out goes the room for rent ads to help pay for rent. It can’t be a girl – nor a straight man considering she is not ready for a relationship. So when she meets the perfect person to be her roommate she almost says no, until he says he is gay. Except Ryland – Ry – James is anything but gay. And his “boyfriend” Jack is also anything but gay as well. Just the best friend.

Along the way the two roommates become fast friends and enjoy spending time with each other. Except as time goes on Ry is having a hard time telling Maggie the truth that he not only is not gay but also has been in love with her for a very VERY long time.

So can Maggie look past Ry being gay and in a “happy relationship” especially when hot as sin Ry comes out of the shower shirtless or is the perfect snuggle buddy on the couch? Or how about when Maggie finally finds out that Ry really isn’t gay and never has been but has always been in love with her since he’s seen her. I mean come on she has to find out sooner or later right?

This book is most definitely without a doubt going into my top 2017 favorite reads. I have said this with other books and I will say it with this one. My review can not do this book justice. With each page I was rushing to the end but hoping for so much more between the two best friends. It was refreshing to read a book with a guy that yes can be a dirty talker but also was a secret romantic. Ry was a great ad to the book boyfriend list and majorly swoon worthy.

With never reading anything by this author before I was not sure what to expect, but as soon as I read the blurb I was hooked and instantly had to start reading it. Even started before finishing another book I was reading – which is usually a no no for me. I was pleased for the very beginning and laughing at Maggie’s inner dialogue. The writing was cheesy but in a good way that fit for these two that you’re almost screaming at Maggie to question how does she not know Ry is not gay and in love with her. Also screaming at Ry to just tell her already!!! But the book is not drown out and not too much cat and mouse. Perfectly span out throughout a year time frame.

With all that being said my advice for this book to you – STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING NOW AND READ IT!!!!! ❤

Check out my review on Goodreads. Or take a look at my longer review below with all the spoilers 🙂

Book Review

LONG REVIEW with Spoilers. SO SPOILER ALERT!!!

The book starts off with Maggie Finegan being happily engaged to Shane. Sure they’ve had some rough patches, but she was coming home early to spruce things up in their relationship – especially in the bedroom. Except how do most romance novels go when it starts with the lead lady being in a relationship? Yep you called in – she walks in on them. So she kicks him out and the bed as well, looking for a new roommate. A female would never do, and to live with a man so soon would be rough. So a gay man is the most important requirement.

Ryland James is the opposite of gay, but after his roommate and best friends gets married, it’s time to find a new place to live. So when he meets Maggie he finds the living situation a wonderful fit. Except he realizes that she might not take him as an occupant because he is straight. So he blurts out two lies – 1. That he is gay and 2. That he has been in a long term causal relationship with Jack.

Jack is one of his best friends – and his current living arrangement is on his couch. The reason for Ry’s lies? It’s not what you think and I was actually taken back by it. He 100% knows Maggie is “The One” for him. He saw her a while back in the same coffee shop they met  up this morning. Except she was always with another guy, but Ry was patient and waited for his moment. Although almost everyday he would get his coffee the same time she would, just to see her smile and hear her laugh. He had it bad for this mystery woman. But he knew that she was the girl he would marry one day. So the timing was perfect when she needed a roommate and he needed a place to stay. So yeah he tossed out the minor lie that he was gay. He wouldn’t let this opportunity slip.

Months go by as Ry and Maggie become fast best friends. Even Jack the “gay boyfriend” tags along with Maggie and her best friend Sarah. The 4 get along great. Each day Ry knows for sure he has fallen hard for Maggie and has no idea how he is going to tell her he really is not gay without losing her. Maggie on the other hand is wishing he wasn’t gay almost everyday. Her feelings have become stronger and more than just friends towards him. Plus maybe if he wasn’t gay he would not be stealing her dates or possible dates.

For a good few months every time a guy would talk to her he would magically have something come up when she came back from the bathroom. That or he would be more interested to talk to Ry. She had no idea that Ry is telling them that she wants them to have a 3-way or other lies to get them to leave. When she finally gets a guy that Ry has not had a chance to scare away it affects Ry a lot. He barely wants to be in the same room as them.

Thankfully that doesn’t last. Sean wasn’t exclusive apparently, or at least that’s what it sounded like when Maggie called him one evening. Which worked out because it led Maggie into Ry’s bedroom. They went and visited Ry’s parents for Easter and it was a little rough on Ry. His dad was never understanding of him going to college or not working for the family business. The stress and the anger was released when Maggie came into his room and they got tangled up together. They start making out and dry hump each other to an orgasm.

4 months later and nothing has changed. Their friendship remanded the same and what happened that night Easter weekend was forgotten. Or so they like to think the other person thinks. Thankfully after a hard week Maggie gets drunk and they start talking dirty. Which leads to Ry giving her oral and of course some AMAZING sex.

Which continues a month later until Maggie realizes that she is getting attached and needs to end it before her heart falls in love with her best friend who is in an open relationship and her roommate. So she tells them and they have sex one last night – unprotected for the first time for either of them.

Maggie doesn’t waste time trying to date again. As Ry doesn’t waste time trying to get those men away from her. Except it’s getting harder and harder. Especially when a guy like Tanner starts talking to her and is a genuine nice guy.

That nice perfect guy? Well Maggie could not get more than friends feelings for. She tried, he really was almost perfect but he was not Ry. So she heads off the the bar to meet up with Ry and Jack after ending things with Tanner. Jack leaves, since Ry FINALLY plans on telling Maggie the truth. Which we know wouldn’t happen. What does happen though is they leave together and sleep together.

The next morning Ry once again plans on telling Maggie during breakfast. He leaves to get stuff from the bakery when he gets a call from his ex. She ran into Jack and he told her where she lived, since is ex Cara had some things of his. SHIT Cara is at the apartment where Maggie is.

Maggie meets Cara while Ry is still out. Cara his ex after dating for 8 months less than 2 years ago. The nail on the coffin.. Maggie brings up Ry and Jack being together, and Cara laughs in her face. Saying they would never EVER be gay together or gay in general. Maggie confused out of her mind asks out loud “Ry’s not gay?” but the response surprises her… because respond is a male voice saying “No, I’m not.”

So no brainer they get into a fight with Maggie leaving. Saying she never wants to see him again after her asking questions that answer somethings like was he ever gay or why did he lie for a over a year. Even when Ry tells her he loves her – she still leaves.

A few days or maybe weeks pass by and both Maggie and Ry are sad and barely getting by in life. Zombies almost. The best friends Sarah and Jack try to get them to perk up and get back together. Ry understands that he needs to fight for what he loves – which is her.

During their time while being friends they would write on napkins when they were out. Mostly things that they would wish would happen or inspire to be or do. It usually ended up being what they wanted in a relationship. Ry kept all of them and was sending them back to her – only writing in more detail how he feels about her – that the things she wished for were him all along. The last one was to meet him in the rain to be kissed like the movies. Sarah pushed her to go and she does.

They make up. After Maggie realizes that the whole time she knew him he had a sign of lying. He would tug on his ear, and she didn’t realize it till now. Except not once when he told her he loved her did he tug his ear.

7 months later they meet up at a bar after work. When the drinks are delieved Maggie notices something written on her napkin – an adorable marriage proposal. I won’t tell you all the details of what went down because it was super cute and definitely swoon worthy but she said yes – of course!

With any luck we’ll get to read more about these two and MAYBE just MAYBE RC Boldt will write a book about Sarah and Jack…. there seemed to be some chemistry along the way that hopefully was planting for another book. Crossing fingers!

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